While some might argue that it’s unnecessary for a writer to publish their words, I’d disagree. I’m convinced, anything that causes as much angst as I’ve felt since my last post has to carry a seed of something beneficial.
There’s something about clicking ‘Publish’ that transforms our words into something more than just a journal entry. ‘Publish’ requires accountability.
My handwritten journals include incomplete thoughts, run on sentences, misspelled, and crossed out words. There’s no judgement or expectation involved in my journaling.
My journals know I’m flawed, they know I murmur i before e except after c every.single.time. and still get it wrong.
My journals don’t fault me when I’m sloppy or self-absorbed and they understand if some letters lean-to the left while others lean-to the right. My journal is forgiving.
There was a time; however, when journaling was casually avoided. Journals, almost too beautiful to write in, seemed to beg for an accurate account of my day. Accuracy requires accountability.
I just wanted to write. I just wanted to blab about my day as thoughts came to mind. I wanted to work it all out on the page and leave a scattered mess of words behind. I didn’t want to clean it up. I didn’t want to reread. I didn’t want to ponder if what I wrote was what I meant. I didn’t want to be held accountable.
And that was fine. Fine for my journal, but not for ‘Publish’.
My journal is for me to show up honestly. My journal is made specifically for the scattered mess of incomplete thoughts abandoned for better ones and as many misspelled words as it takes to get to my main point.
I’m a writer when I click ‘Publish’; however. Every time I click ‘Publish’ I’m committing to improving my craft and denouncing my pantser ways. ‘Publish’ is my commitment to rereading, reconsidering, and rewriting.
In this season of my writing career, I’d like to become more polished. I want to learn how to pour all of me on the page and not be afraid to revisit it later.
‘Publish’ is the only way I’ll become an author and consistency is road that will get me there.
Today is Day One of my 31 days of writing 500 words per day. Many writing challenges have come and gone during the last year; however, I couldn’t seem to commit to them. When I click ‘Publish’ tonight, I’ll be committing to the writer in me.
Of all the things I do, writing is the one thing I want to do most. I want to become the writer I am in my head and I know it only comes with practice. So here’s to the first post of the year and one of many entries in my online journal. I’m thankful for the opportunity to intentionally improve my writing abilities and all that wonderful people I’ll meet along this journey.
I’ve been gone for a little while, but I’m back and I couldn’t be happier.